I have been thinking a great deal about the choices I have made since Paul died, almost two years ago. My goals – choices if you will – were to heal, to learn, to forgive, to live. Living was the key ingredient that got me out of bed every day and hike with Zeke, my sweet dog. He was a tremendous help in my recovery process of grief. Unconditional love and the great outdoors.
Then much to my surprise, Ronda Conger spoke at a brunch I attended Sunday morning. She told her story with the passion she always exuberates. I had no idea where she came from and how she was determined to break a pattern. My admiration for her soared to hear her story. She made good choices and it shows today.
Looking back at the past two years and the choices I made, I know now that I mustered wisdom in the midst of grief. I knew Paul may not have been ready to leave, but it was his time. I knew in my heart that he went to a place of great joy. My Buddhist practice helped me cope and understand. How I processed the grief is how I survived.
It all comes to the fact about making good choices in life. They are never easy and yet good choices are not so hard when you look back later. If your good choices come from your heart and the desire to be a better person, you have accomplished a great deal. No matter how small or large your choice was, you just know.
You know from the results. You know from your outlook on life. You know from your attitude.
I am in the process of celebrating all that I have learned in the past two years. The first year of grief was the life journey I had to swim through. (Remember, grief comes in waves!) The second year was getting to know myself again. I am who I am but what I learned has made me a better person. It’s not so much that I have changed but it is about what I have learned.
It was all about my good choices. I am free.
#makegoodchoices #lifelesson #grief #healing