The Ladder Fell from Under My Feet, and I Knew I Had to Let Go

No kidding, my Friday last week started out in disaster mode. When Zeke & I walk the greenbelt route, we head over to Veteran’s Memorial State Park and Friday was one of those days. The trails back in the trees along Veteran’s Pond are beautiful, except for the part when I got bit by a huge black ant! It hurt like H E double two sticks and I hobbled for 30 minutes until the pain subsided. Once I returned home, I attempted to finish cleaning the gutters and removing pine needles from the covered patio. However, the ladder had other ideas… As I was pushing a broom to move the needles away from a corner, the ladder teetered away from my feet. I am left hanging on to the patio roof thinking to myself, well, I am going to have to let go.

You should see the bruises on my elbows! I think I need to have extra insurance coverage for being a klutz. All kidding aside, I kept going back to what I thought as I hung on for a brief period of time. I am going to have to let go. Let go.

I have had to let go of so much since Paul died nine months ago. Letting go is a painful process, too. I had to let go of my notion of a wonderful man that loved me as much as I loved him. The best relationship I ever had. A life we had together as well as a life I thought we would have. The loss of those sweet text messages, the phone calls, the slight touch in the middle of the night. The roof over my head was even taken away. Promises made that were never meant to be. I had to let it all go. It is all past tense now, and that is the strangest feeling.

I often wonder how on earth I am functioning as well as I am. I think part of my recovery back to life is being in this tiny house, a space of my own. But the best perk is having a garden and making that tiny kitchen work. When I am in a kitchen, my heart soars! Tonight I pulled out the spiralizer to make yellow squash noodles. I went to my garden to pull two small red onions and two mini sweet peppers. I just walked out the back door!

I quickly sautéed the onions and peppers in butter and olive oil, then added the noodles. A few quick stirs to cook the squash for about 3 minutes and pulled the pan. I did add a teaspoon of basil pesto I had in the fridge and topped my noodle bowl with asiago cheese. It was magnificent!

My brother, Phil, posted on social media that he is going to eat better and now his meals are in small ice cream bowls. My dinner tonight was in a soup bowl. Phil, does this count for your diet regime?

#cooking #grief #tinyhouse #summergarden