Late Fall Reminds Me of Grief #GriefIsAlwaysThere

I had writers block this week! So much so that this blog post has been sitting in MS Word on my taskbar all week. Avoidance much?

For those of you that know me well, you would be as surprised as I was earlier this week. November 4th would have been Paul’s birthday. Which is a reminder that soon it will be five years since he passed away due to complications of cardiac arrest.

I think it may be time to remove his birthday from my calendar and yet, well…..

So much has taken place since his untimely death. And yet, so much has been my reward!

Paul was a PCP, primary care physician, which his presence would have been helpful for all the oddball diagnoses I have had the past five years. I won’t list them out but suffice to say I have this inkling that he was present in the beginning to guide me. He is no longer “here”, and I know that is because his journey has taken him to other levels. Come to think of it, mine has too.

One of my personal changes has been to always try to think of situations from a different perspective. It’s not easy but I won’t allow negativity to penetrate my soul or my head. I either try to think of what the other person may be going through or I simply turn away. I am not so much as giving up or giving in but rather saying no, not today.

I like shopping more than ever! One thing I can admit to stashing are small gifts for later gifts. I just love going into Mixed Greens or 36th Street Garden Center for gifts that appeal to me to give in the future. Joy can be shopping, right? Don’t laugh but I have my holiday gifts purchased already.

My real, true joy is creating recipes in my kitchen. This weekend I will finish making roasted tomato sauce and canning it all for the winter. A goal is to learn how to pressure can. I found two different people that have offered to teach me how to do that, so watch out folks! New concoctions are in my future.

Despite the ups and downs of life, I am grateful for the little things that give me joy.

What are yours?

#LifeLesson #Journey #Acceptance

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