Looking back, two and half years later, I find myself in a life I did not expect and yet a life that I now embrace fully. I really thought I would grow old with Paul, doing daily activities together. It’s sort of me and my dog, Zeke, now. I have learned to say yes to more invites, to try new recipes and invite friends for dinner to taste test, to branch out and travel more.
This path did not find its way easily.
They say that grief is the most important and yet the most difficult experience we have in life. In the beginning, it is all you can think of. You go to bed crying, you wake up crying. You turn a corner of sadness only to bet met with sadness around the bend. I recall a dear friend telling me that it takes a full year to recover. I thought, no way, not me. But she was right and yet after that one year a person has not really recovered from grief but become different in so many ways.
I am a stronger woman.
I am open to new experiences.
I have goals to focus on.
Some of my goals are my passion, such as cooking. I am going to look in to bottling my coffee tomato barbecue sauce!
My friends have always been my family, but more so now.
My family – my siblings and a cousin – are my everything.
I have a habit that when I think of someone, I reach out. I do this even more so now.
I practice self-care, self-love in ways I had not thought possible.
I take naps on the weekends! I have Paul to thank for that……
Grief did not so much “change” me but gave me the direction to be a better person and be comfortable with who I am now, without Paul.
I am me, happy, healthy, content. It’s a good way to be.
#grief #grieving #lifeafterdeath #lifelesson