Sometimes I Get Frustrated

Have you ever noticed how long it takes to purchase a vehicle? How about a new cell phone? I swear signing a contract to submit an offer on a home is much easier!

Let me give you an example. Let’s say you are looking for a home. You ask around and get a referral for a Realtor® that your friends liked working with. (me) You meet with this Realtor® and definitely decide, yes, she will be perfect! (me) She sends you a number of listings to your email, you get together and take a look at a few homes, and voila! You have found your new nest, thanks to that Realtor® (me) You use the line that you have been waiting to use for years, “let’s write an offer!” and you say this with glee. You go to where you are now living and start packing, while your Realtor® (me) goes to the office, types up the contract, emails it to you and you e-sign. That Realtor® (me) made this entire experience delightful.

My iPhone went black on me on Friday. And by black, I mean it would not even beep at me, let alone pretend that all it needed was a charge. We are all at the point in our lives that our electronic devices are akin to a limb. So, off to the Verizon store I go, but this also means I have to drive to – eegads! – Mall Land. But I have to tell you, the Verizon store on Milwaukee rocks. The staff there knows their stuff. I walk in with an iPhone a friend gave me, hoping and wishing that phone will work to activate. No, it is an AT&T phone, won’t work. Rats. I was sent to a nearby store that will exchange it and sell me a nice refurbished phone. I head over (thank goodness it was walking distance) and wait and wait. I get a credit for the phone I walked in with and get a newer phone. Now I have to go back to Verizon. This time my wait is not so long but in the process I grow a few new grey hairs. The phone restarts itself twice. Back to the other store to check the battery and get a new one or whatever they did. Time lapse: 2.75 hours of my day.

The last time I was involved in a car purchase was with Paul. We even had the car picked out. But, no lie, that purchase took more than two hours. Never mind the drive there and the drive back because we went to Mountain Home.

Sometimes I wish people would just cut to the chase. Maybe I am in a frame of mind right now that the added BS is intolerable. If I seem frustrated sometimes, please do forgive me. I am still at a loss over my loss.

I have learned a few things about myself in the months that have followed Paul’s death. I need my friends but I need my space. I am more comfortable hiking by myself but if I run in to you on the trail, I welcome the company. Sometimes I just want to run away, sometimes I want to be in the crowd.  I am more at ease in silence these days.

Someday soon I will have music on again.

#cuttothechase #loss #grieving #grief