A Broken Heart Need Not Be, Those Tears Can Mend After All

Tears not tears. Or is it both? Tears in the leaf or tears from your eyes? A broken heart seems to take on many different facets when such a life instance takes place. Oh, at the time, you always think you will never, ever be the same. But months later, low and behold, you are okay again. Not the same and that is a sign that you learned and earned a life lesson. With the right attitude, it really does get better. Again, not the same, but that is just fine. It’s not supposed to be the “same”.

Since May, I now live three houses from the Boise River greenbelt system in Garden City. Living in this neighborhood and climate is so much different from anywhere else I have lived in Boise. Zeke and I take our morning walks on the greenbelt every other day, with the other days returning to our favourite trail system in the Boise Foothills. As of late, I have noticed that the leaves from the cottonwood trees that fall on the greenbelt can be almost heart shaped. Just yesterday morning I chose to collect a few leaves, and my discovery inspired me to write about it today.

Looking at these leaves, I realized that some are green and fresh, some are mottled and weathered, some are going brown too early and some are torn and weary. As our hearts reflect, we have similar patterns that mark our life experiences. In fact, I have a golden fortune cookie necklace with an actual fortune inside that reads: Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. That is life, isn’t it? Looking at the leaves, I feel that the tears and breaks and cracks of our hearts cannot be fixed but surely can be mended in order to heal.

cottonwood leaf hearts

When Paul suddenly died, I was deeply heartbroken. Nothing seemed to be able to console me at the time. Maybe only the pillow I cried in to. Eventually I pulled myself up and outside to the Foothills trails. That led to a renewed daily routine I needed but did not realize at the time. The other routines eventually helped me cope day to day and the healing process ensued. It is so cliché, but time really does heal.

Now, I find myself out and about, determined to have a fun summer with my friends. Hiking and biking. Capitol City Market on Saturday mornings, Boise’s First Thursday, music at the Sandbar at the Riverside Hotel, the Sapphire Room and other concerts across the Valley. The travel bug has bit me and I will soon be on a road trip to the San Juan Islands to spend time with my sister friend, Jenny P. This week is a road trip to Challis for the Braun Brothers Reunion with Angie S. and a group of other friends that will guarantee one heck of a time.

This going out thing is exhausting! {insert chuckle} But oh what fun! With this brings meeting new people, and recently I met a wonderful man. He is remarkable in many ways. Regrettably, we may be too different and yet too much the same to see eye to eye. There is a silver lining…..

No matter what happens, I will always love him very much and he will always have a very special place in my heart because he helped mend it. He opened the little door that gave me the courage to pull myself up over the edge of waning grief. He gave me the gift of what can be again. I now smile broader these days.

Silver lining indeed!

#grief #lifelesson #brokenheart #healing

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