My Rite of Passage, a Celebration of Life Then Add a Crystal Ball

This past weekend was the Celebration of Life for Paul, and it all went perfectly! Paul’s brother and two sisters flew in from different corners of the country as well as friends from college and friends he went to baseball camps or spring training that he kept in touch with. To me, this is the evidence to the kind of man he was, a man that was not only well loved but well respected. I really was one lucky girl to have been loved by such a wonderful man.

I don’t know if you read his obituary, but we wrote that he loved reading the New Yorker magazine. I honestly think he may have loved the cartoons the best! Paul’s daughters had numerous cartoons that he has saved fastened on a strings across empty distressed window frames, just about the most unique display I have ever seen. Everyone present enjoyed these as well as other tributes we had on display.

I particularly appreciated Paul’s former patients that expressed their sorrow for losing the best physician they had ever had. Story after story about how they would not even be alive if it were not for the care he gave to that person. One particular patient told me that his Mother was Paul’s feistiest patient. I doubt that because she was just so darn sweet to me. Looks can be deceiving though….Then the funny stories, oh my how we laughed! We all miss Paul Ryan deeply.

On Sunday, I spent the day organizing my new place, the garage and starting a few boxes for donating. I was feeling sad not because of missing Paul, but because I was giving myself permission for the next step or chapter I will be undertaking. Having the Celebration of Life was and is a big step in that direction. I am not quite sure about where that path leads. I also realized that with this new journey, I am not going to ask God any questions about what if. I am just going to have to find out what lies ahead.

That darn crystal ball clearly will not talk to me. Just as well.

“Someone said that “Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” And above all don’t imagine that the story is over. Life has a lot of chapters.” – John Gardner, 1990

#grief #celebrationoflife #lifejourney