Don’t you just wish that a time or two in your lifetime you could answer back how you really feel? You know, say it with thought so that the other person doesn’t get it until later that day? This applies to those people in your life that just do not understand no matter what. This also applies to those people that just don’t listen. If you can be the one that listens, you are the better person. At any rate, sometimes, just sometime for goodness sakes, it would be a tad bit fun to just say it. However, here are a few suggestions to deal with these situations:
- You are not the Boss of me! Ok, this is a childlike reaction, but I kid you not, this has come up for me recently. So, I tap my fingers on the nearest table top and ponder what in the heck to say to that incredibly bossy person and how to respond. Voila! I use this: I hear what you are saying, and I feel the best way to tackle this issue is to XXXX”. You tackle the issue and bring in other parties that you know will agree with you based on reality as well as reasoning. Subtle and yet effective. Use sense and sensibility and make sure you have a backup opinion from a trusted third party. Do not attempt this without consultation.
- You should have asked first. Oh, Lord, help me I have a new Mommy. This situation is best dealt with grace and maturity. DO not and I repeat, do NOT attempt to answer to this one. Give this your very best Southern smile (Google this) and do not react. By tucking this one away, you save face and save yourself from being a jerk in return. You surely don’t want to have regrets with a person so, well, just so like this.
- You are not supposed to XXXX. Really, and you are? Ok, you can’t really say this unless (1) you know the policy or procedure, (2) you know who is supposed to or (3) you know not any one person is legally entitled at that particular moment. Often times the better reaction will come to you far after the confrontation, but my best advice is to simply walk away. It is just not worth it unless it has diamonds in the “it”. If you are a guy, only if it has super sentimental value sports-wise.
- Well, I changed my mind. Seriously??? But you promised! Well, when this happens, you just have to pull your big girl straps or your big boy suspenders and just let go of the attachment you have in your mind. I have come to learn that hanging on to broken promises will only hold you back in life and prolong your healing time period. Kind of lousy but in the long run, better for your mental health.
- I promise to call you. And, then you realize two weeks later that call never occurred. Guess what? Another rip and tear in to your heart to remind you some people don’t mean what they said to you and (yes, and) they never did. Do you really need these supposed friends? You need the tried and true and always there friends. I sure do!
- I promise X and X to you. Oh my gosh, how this one hurts your very core. You trust what this promise is and trust the promises made. Then what you consider super bad luck you realize that the promise does not come through and never will. Guess what? Because that promise had no real intention. This can be hurtful unless you take the time to admit it was said just to say “it” and “it” had no real intention. Shitty, eh?
Ok, you get the picture. Having a non-reaction is not caving in or compromising. It is taking the high road, the mature route and just releasing that heavy sigh. Well, maybe a half dozen heavy sighs but take it from me, it’s worth it.
#standupforyourself #friendship #dealingwithit #noregrets
really nice, and good advice, thanks…..