Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

“How are you doing, Laurie?”

OUTSIDE ME: I am ok

INSIDE ME: I have no clue

Why can’t I tell you how I really feel? Why am I delivering that stiff upper lip response? Often times I wonder why I just can’t spill my beans.

I watch people of all ages handle stress and/or problems differently from one person to the other. Some of us bury our problems, some of us face them head on. Some of us psychoanalyze our problems, some of us brush them off. Some of us use the excuse of resentment of our parents for what they did and some of us concede that they did what they knew best. Some of us just don’t deal with it at all.

Shouldn’t we acknowledge our pain and be truthful to others? I am hurting right now, I need help right now, I am heartbroken right now, I don’t know what to do right now.

I get the feeling this is because we cannot even admit what is going on to ourselves. If only we were not afraid to say what we need to say. We should be able to let go of those fears! Begin by saying to those that surround us, our friends and family: “I need you”.  In my grieving process, I am learning how to reach out to what seems to me the first time in my life. I have to admit that this pain is first I have not yet experienced: sudden death of the man I loved and had hoped to grow old with.

Now, I am not advising to be brutal when you tell your truth. Rather, find a way to communicate in a loving way. Speak from your heart to touch another heart. Kindness always prevails. Say what you mean and mean what you say, with kindness. You will receive kindness in return, I can almost guarantee it.

What I am recognizing these days is that I am the one living and I am the one that is alive. This knowledge centers me and helps me to recall loving memories, and focus on the positive. And come to think of it, those loving memories bring a broad smile to my face and elevates my mood!

And thank you, God. I know you are watching over me. I appreciate that, Big Guy.

#grief #grieving #honesty #truth #helping #kindnessinreturn