Last week I wrote about a writing workshop I attended at Surel’s Place with the artist in residence, an author and writer, Jeff Metcalf. He gave us a writing assignment. Oh. My. Gosh.
So, what did I do? Honestly, I put it on the back burner until today. I knew my topic and this past weekend was the reinforcement aka inspiration.
I let Paul’s pseudo ashes float in the Salmon River in Stanley.
It was high time. If you recall, in my blog post from Spring 2016 I Had the Good Kind of Fire #LettingGo, I described how and why I had a bonfire with my closest friends, all of which are my Idaho family. I was not given his ashes by his ex-wife, so I kept things I knew would have meaning for him. Those became the ashes.
This weekend I found myself going to one of Paul’s very favorite places, Stanley, Idaho. I packed the bag of “ashes” and let the universe help me find just the right time, just the right place to give that sentimental soot back to the part of Custer County Paul loved so dearly. I have a deep calling for water, so the Salmon River was my number one choice.
Let’s get back to that writing assignment. 250 words. I phrase or word we chose in the workshop. Mine was Second Chances. I am sharing this with all of you today.
I could use a catchphrase about second chances, or create a meme or look for a quote. But if I did, it would not resonate in my heart today. I have been given the gift of a second chance.
It has been 2.5 years since Paul died, since Paul left this planet for another great adventure. I was here to experience the grief of sudden death and learn how to live again. Perhaps love again. I am alive after all.
The journey has been remarkable. They say that grief is the most important and yet the most difficult life experience we endure. Amen to that.
After a while, such as a year, I tried dating. Epic awfulness. I now look back and I realize it was just too soon, did not feel right. But now, right now, I look in the mirror and admit I am so dang happy. That resonates every day in how I live and love and just be as a human.
No man will ever take Paul’s place in my heart, but a man sure will fill the void. I am fairly sure he has rung my doorbell. I am giddy as a teenager. And, to think, he is the lucky one, right?
That Second Chance may or may not be knocking on the door of my heart. However, I am going to answer it and find out what can and what could and what may be in store for me. I’m giving this a #SecondChance
#SecondChance #lifelesson #changes